Deliver ME from ME!

I’ve been on a journey of self discovery for most of the year (probably for most of my life hahahaha) – hence the sparse blog posts & #OOTDs or any sort of active social media life for that matter. 

It started with my spiritual walk, then having to relearn & reaffirm some truths about myself (especially after gaining back all the weight I lost last year) – I’m still learning – then came the decision to join the natural hair movement (NOT as easy as I assumed) –  spiritually, physically & mentally a lot was/is going on but the most prominent lesson I’m learning over and over is that I am my only hinderance. I am in my own way! 

My state of mind, the way I see myself – and I don’t just mean physically – it restricts me in every way in every area. Allowing fear, insecurities and a negative self image to cripple me. Constantly second guessing myself and doubting my abilities, living in a loop de loop of self-doubt & self shame. It’s time I break the cycle!!! 

I challenged myself to take these pics & do a blog post – totally unprepared – I had to get out of my own head , go against the grain, regardless of the weight I’ve gained or how I think I look with my big “boskop/kroeskop” because let me tell you, going natural has challenged every thought and every belief I had about myself, my appearance and my self image – Yes…hair…hair can do that!!! It’s a good thing though – it’s pushed me further out of my comfort zone – literally forcing me to embrace my truth! 

So with big arms, big hips and my now big hair – I smiled (a genuine happy smile) and posed for the camera! 

I’m big and that’s how I am right now. And this is who I am right now. And I want to live right now!!! I’m tired of hiding behind extra weight or heat damaged hair or jiggly thighs – constantly obsessing about the bathroom scale, shying away from cameras…NO… life is happening and I want to live it! 

This past week we said goodbye to 2 friends, 1 went to bed and never woke up – she wasn’t even 45yrs old – the other succumbed to injuries he sustained in a car crash – only 25yrs old – life is too short Lauren, quit fretting the small stuff! 

So this is me – boskoppy, saggy booby (I’m a mom of 3 & I probably could do with some new bras LoL – but good heavens who sets the prices for bras?!?!? – must be a man), big thighed & flabby armed – it’s me and it’s always going to be me, well, atleast physically maybe, BUT there’s another ME inside this ME and that ME is growing & learning everyday & in this moment, somehow, that’s enough! 


Leggings & Tunic: The Fix | Bag: MRP | Sandals: Gifted 

Lu 

xoxo 

I forget but God…

Hey Beautiful People 

Here’s a funny story…not funny like ha ha but you know…

My confidence as a person and as a blogger has taken a serious beating since gaining weight. Last year I was able to drop a good amount of weight – not really intentionally though – I had a really trying year, my personal & spiritual life were a mess, I was stressed and depressed and honestly, I hardly ate. I’m a happy eater – so therefore we can conclude that I am happy a lot of the time…ha ha! 

Because of this I’ve been unmotivated to blog or even shop – I’m sure many of you can relate – but God has a way of always reminding me where He’s brought me from. 


This morning I picked up this stethoscope for a cousin (her kid needed 1 for a school project) but it instantly reminded me of the time I was expecting Aimee. 

A little scene-setting…

I’d had a weight loss op done a few years prior to falling pregnant and I wasn’t in very good health. I started off at 63kgs in the beginning of my pregnancy and by the 7th month I’d dropped to 40kgs. I was sick, in constant pain, I wasn’t eating and numerous times I contemplated suicide (the pain was that bad). I remember being in such tremendous pain and speaking such horrible words during my pregnancy – death, abortion, suicide – to name a few and yet at the same time I prayed that little Aimee would make it. 

I purchased 1 of these stethoscopes because I was so afraid that she’d die inside my womb. The pain would keep me awake at night and I’d lie there with my stethoscope trying to make sure I could hear her heart beat – I’m not sure if I did hear it – but that’s what I did! 

Aimee had to be delivered prematurely, she just wasn’t thriving inside my womb so at 7months she was born at a tiny 1.4kgs – literally just skin and bone. She stayed in Neo ICU for close to 3 weeks and it was the hardest 3 weeks of my life. I blamed myself for everything that happened to her – it was all those terrible things I spoke over her – I’d say – but I was in so much pain that I just wasn’t thinking clearly – I know that’s no excuse though! 


This was a month before Aimee was delivered ☝🏽


Today God reminded me of His awesome, miracle-working power. He reminded me where He brought me from ( a dying bed in Milpark ICU), He reminded me that my story, my message, is so much more than anything as superficial as my weight. I look at Aimee and I’m in awe of Him – that even in my weakness, my pain, my sickness, He had a plan for us. I am so much more than the number on the back of my jeans. 

I’ll be doing a blog post on my story soon!


Thank You for the reminder Lord. 

Stay Slayin & Stay Prayin y’all 

Lu xxx 

Black Out 

  
Today I feel so badass ha ha! I’m really not though! 

With the weather being a little overcast I decided to pull out my pleather jacket and the rest of the outfit just kinda went around that one item. Then I put on my favourite purple LA Girls matte lippie and boom – badass chick!!! ( I am so weird). 

Anyone got a Ducati I can loan for the day?!?!? Ha ha! 

   
    
    
    
   
Again- head to toe in MRP 🙂

  
Stay Sassy xxxx

Lu 

A Few of my Favourite things…

As a plus size girl, it’s rare to find something that fits absolutely perfect. Skinnies are almost always too wide at the ankle. Blazers too wide at the forearms. Tops that are wide enough to fit my hips and tummy will often be too big around the boobs. The top I’m wearing now is one of those. I sized down so it would fit the chest area even though it’s a little snug around the hips, it’s easily concealed when tucked in like this. I couldn’t pass it up because of a minor fit problem. Forgive me for the creases in my top – I’ve been sitting at my desk!


I live in these joggers. They are seriously my fave. Also, light-weight but the reason I really live in them is because unlike the top, these pants are one of those rare items that just fit! They are super comfy and just make me feel really confident when I’m wearing them (which is always my main objective when getting dressed).




Cute, pointy flats are my thing – but cute, pointy, metallic flats…they’re my thang!!!! Hahaha! Bonus: they’re very comfy too!


The beads I’m wearing I just purchased from the stunning, Mrs Rogéro, and she’s got a variety of colours (pictured below). I can already tell they’re going to be my go-to accessory this season!



I’m loving the LA Girl flat finish pigment gloss in Dreamy. A lip colour that really stays put is always a bonus for me. They’ve got a range of awesome colours – that I’d love to have…soon!


Top & earrings:::MrP

Joggers:::PEP Stores

Pumps & Sunnies:::Cotton On

Beads:::Mrs Rogéro.

And those are a few of my Favourite things 😊

Fun Fashion Fact: 

 

 

 

“Sneakers came to us thanks to Keds, the first company to create this type of shoe, in 1917. Converse produced their first pair of sneakers later that year.”


Thanks for stopping by and stay cute xxx

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The Printed Shirt Dress

I love a light maxi/shirt dress! It’s just so easy -pull off the hanger, slip it over your head and you’re outta the door!

So when I saw this printed shirt dress I just knew it wouldn’t let me down, especially since prints are trending at the moment.

It’s very light weight, so even though it’s got long sleeves ( which I’ve folded) it’s perfect for the summer.

I would’ve loved a neckpiece in a contrasting color but I don’t have one – next on my wish list! (Hint hint husband 😊)


  
  
  

  
 Style breakdown:

Dress – Mastik Couture via Rainbow @ Cresta 

Shoes, bag, earrings, neckpiece & sunnies – Mr P

Lips – LA Girls matte lip in Tulle

Hair – as always my signature high bun 😊

Fun Fashion Fact:

“Marc Jacobs, strange as it seems, is the Creative Director of Louis Vuitton, a position he has had for 18 years. Bonus fact: He has tons of tattoos!”

Stay Cute xxx

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Let’s take it back to the beach

  
   

  This song has been on repeat today, and judging from what I’m wearing, you can tell what my current mood is. 

Sun, sand and sea! That’s what I long for. It’s all I think about lately. I need a break from the hustle and bustle that is Johannesburg. 

Maybe it’s because we’re in the last quarter of 2015, maybe it’s because Spring has sprung, maybe I just haven’t been on vacay in a while, whatever the reason, I need it and want it! 

Better start planning then…

“a little sand between your toes always takes away your woes.” 

   
    
 Peasant top – Gifted

Ripped jeans – DIY (I bought the jeans at MRP and ripped them myself haha)

Sandals & hat – MrP 

Earrings – Truworths 

Lips – LA Girls matte in Tulle 

Fun Fashion Fact:

“Cotton fabric was used for clothing for over 7,000 years. Just one bale of cotton could make 215 pairs of jeans.”

Stay Cute xxx

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My Liebster Award Nomination

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Wow – Thank you Carly from BeYoutiful for Nominating me for the Liebster Award!

This is my 1st nomination of this kind…so let’s get to it then 😊

Here are the rules for this award…

  1. Thank the blogger who nominated you with a link back to his/her blog
  2. Answer the questions asked by the nominator
  3. Nominate 5 – 10 bloggers with under 500 followers
  4. Create 10 questions for the nominees to answer.

1. What inspired you to start blogging?

 I want to inspire women, especially plus size women like myself.

I want them to know that Style AND Beauty comes in ALL shapes AND sizes.

2. How would you describe your blogging style?

 I have a very close friend who always tells me that I’m an extremist, so I’d say my

blogging style is a true reflection of me – there are days when it’s extremely chilled and

laid back and then there are days where I dig deep – I like to keep it real!

   3. What are your pet peeves when it comes to fashion?

 Fashion for plus size women is VERY limited. I wish retailers would wake up –

PLUS SIZE  WOMEN LIKE STYLISH CLOTHES TOO!

4. Name one blogger whom you look up to and why?

 I do love Chastity Garner from GarnerStyle – she is always on point with her outfits

and she doesn’t let her size hinder her style.

5. What are you wearing today?

Today I’m wearing a very comfortable dress I picked up from Mastik Couture – it’s grey in colour. I’m also wearing a pair of gladiator sandals I picked up from MrP as well as gold hoop earrings and a gold necklace also from MrP.

6. Favourite Song?

Mmmmmm – remember that I am an extremist?!?! So…my music taste varies A LOT but the last song I downloaded on iTunes is Flashlight by Jessie J.

7. Favourite Movie?

Ok, this is quite difficult but I’d say Dirty Dancing – Dont judge hahaha!

8. Ideal holiday destination?

Sun, Sand, blue waters, clear skies – that kinda thing!

9. One word to describe yourself ?

Quirky

10. Favourite time of the year?

I’m such a festive person – I love Chistmas – the carols playing everywhere you go, kids can’t contain their excitement, families and friends get together, there’s always an abundance of food and gifts – who doesn’t love gifts?!?!

Here are my questions for my nominees:

  1. What inspired you to start blogging?
  2. How did you come up with the name for your blog?
  3. Do you prefer high end stores or do you wear clothing from any store?
  4. How often do you shop for clothing?
  5. Do you have a set budget for clothing purchases?
  6. What is your ideal day out?
  7. Which part of your body do you love the most and why?
  8. How would you describe your fashion style?
  9. What/Who are you currently using to take pictures for your blog?
  10. If you had a clothing line what would you call it and why?

I nominate the following bloggers:

The Mrs Paulsen

Guess What Girls

Sisters and Stilettos

Lisa Bonafide

Through Shaded Eyes

Thank you once again BeYoutiful for the nomination and shoutout 💋

Fun Fashion Fact:

“Today it is common to see women and girls wear their hair short but decades ago, if a woman was spotted with short hair she was considered to be an unfaithful wife.”

Stay cute xxx

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I love Hues 

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Finally, Spring is upon us!

Yeah, we thought that about a week ago, but then Mother Nature was like, “nah just kidding, it’s still cold!”

Well it’s certainly resembling Spring time now.

I love the print and the hues of this dress. I’ve paired it with a textured blazer since it’s still a wee bit nippy especially in the early mornings.

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My hair is so frustrating right now! Let me tell you, transitioning to natural hair IS NOT for the faint hearted! Shoooweee! It takes oodles of patience – which I’m running out of fast! I think I did my hair 9 times this morning?!? I’m so sick of this bun life (apologies to my natural sisters) I know, I know, it’s a protective style and all and there are tons of styles I could try out, I’m just lacking inspiration at this point. I’m a newbie – don’t judge!

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Style Breakdown:

Dress, blazer, shoes, bag, sunnies – Mr P

Earrings – Truworths

 

Here’s another Fun Fashion Fact:

“All women should be thanking Mary Phelps, a New York socialite, for creating the modern bra. The ones she made and patented in 1914 were very unlike the ones we wear today, though. Hers were made of handkerchiefs.” 

 Thanks Mary – the ‘girls’ appreciate your invention 😊

Stay Cute xxx

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Little Lotta 


Little Lotta was a nickname given to me when I was a little girl by an older cousin.

About Little Lotta…


Little Lotta Plump was a fictional character published by Harvey Comics, the same publishers of the famous Richie Rich comics. In fact, Little Lotta appeared in many Richie Rich adventures.


Lotta Plump, has an obsession with (drum roll…) food! Her insatiable appetite (being her defining characteristic) however, doesn’t make her on obese slob, but rather, the more Lotta eats, the stronger she becomes, giving rise to superhuman strength. Lotta is depicted as friendly, kind-hearted and readily uses her tremendous strength to do good.

Lotta has a boyfriend, Gerald, who is the complete opposite (physically). Gerald is a tiny, shy, nerdy-type of guy. Together with Lotta, the twosome go on many adventures.

About Lauren as Little Lotta…

I can’t tell you how much I hated that nickname (little Lotta)  when I was growing up  (mind you I didn’t care much for the person who gave it to me either).

Obviously my cousin was referencing my weight when he gave me the name (because everyone knows that all fat people spend their days stuffing their faces with copious amounts food right?!?!)  For years that name gave rise to many negative emotions, especially when I knew I’d be seeing said cousin.

It wasn’t until recently that I actually learned more about Little Lotta’s character. Like the fact that she was friendly and kind-hearted. Or the fact that she used her strength to good in her community. The fact that she didn’t care how silly she and Gerald looked together. Or that people thought he was diminutive and weak. Lotta didn’t let her bullies get the better of her. No, she did what she deemed good regardless of anyone’s opinion.

So to you, my ‘dear’ cousin, thank you for the nickname. I own it now.

I am indeed friendly and kind-hearted. I am now using my strength to uplift and inspire many women, especially in the Plus Size community. I don’t care that my husband weighs half of what I do, and I certainly don’t care if people think we look odd together. I will no longer allow bullies, like yourself, to diminish me for looking different. I AM DIFFERENT DAMNIT! I will continue doing what I deem good – regardless of anyone’s opinion (even Nicole Arbour’s) AND I’ll do in style!

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Style Breakdown:

Cardigan – PEP Stores

Top – Truworths

Ripped Jeans, earrings, necklace & bag – Mr P

Shoes – Makro_SA

Sunnies – China Town

Lips – LA Girls Matte gloss in Tulle

Hair – you know my signature bun by now!

Here’s a Fun Fashion Fact:

Napoleon wasn’t just about war. He contributed to fashion in many ways too. The reason we have buttons on the sleeves of our jackets is because Napoleon got tired of his soldiers wiping their noses on their sleeves. 

Hope you enjoyed this post!

Stay Cute xxx

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Orange you glad I’m back?

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I have been extremely busy ‘cleaning out my closet’ – Literally! And let me just confess that I am indeed a (recovering) hoarder -Eeeeek!

I mentioned in a previous post that I was planning a DECLUTTER – and that’s exactly what I did (yay me)! I – was – merciless! I threw out years and years of stuff. I mean, I had birthdays cards from my 2nd birthday – yes – 31 yr old birthday cards from people I don’t  even know! Why in the world was I holding onto that?!?!?

My home feels brand new, it’s amazing! The husband walked in from work on Friday and asked if we’re moving house – ha ha! There’s so much space – I can see what he meant!

The Spring-clean has done wonders for our home and my sanity as well. I feel more in control AND – it’s changed my mindset. I only kept things that we absolutley need and love. Everything else was either dumped or donated. It was kind of bitter-sweet because I realized how much money was being thrown out but on the upside, I feel like I’ll make wiser choices in future when purchasing things – be it clothing or things for the home.

So tomorrow is officicially the 1st day of Spring here in South-Africa!!!!!

It’s such a wonderful time,  everyone has a ‘Spring’ in their step! People come out of hibernation and straight to working on those much needed tans. Spring is synonymous for braai’s and pool parties, picnics and camping (my husband’s favourite thing) and for me – hayfever! But I never let that keep me from enjoying this beautiful season.

I’m wearing the perfect dress to welcome Spring. It’s light and the high-low hem shows just enough leg. I love the fit as it hugs my curves in all the right places and the colour is very spring!

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Style Breakdown:

Dress, earrings & bangles – Truworths

Shoes – Makro_SA

Bag – Mr P

Aviators – China Town

Lips – LA Girls matte lip colour in Instinct

Hair – My signature bun (because I’m transitioning and my hair is just frustrating lol!)

Stay Cute xxx

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(Lu is the nickname my mama gave me when I was little)