I’m leaving…

I can’t tell you how many times I sat down to write a blog post. 2018 has been one manic ride! Every time I sit down to write I become so overwhelmed with the reality of it all that I simply abort mission…”it’s not the right time.” I keep telling myself.

[INSERT Chris Brown “There’s never a right time to say goodbye”] LOL

In less than 2 months I will board a plane with my 3 kiddios (yes…THREE…say a little prayer for me) to Auckland, New Zealand to join my husband in our new home.

Darling husband (bless his fineness) has been there since August setting up (our new life basically) and the 4 of us are set to join him as soon as the kids finish the school year – which I cannot wait for because 1) I miss his fineness and 2) I’m tired (parenting is currently 80% driving & comforting crying kids!)

Uprooting our lives, leaving our place of birth, our family (this is the worst), friends, our church, a business, a home we’ve lived in for 12 years, our dogs, a comfort zone, everything that has made me me up until this very moment is no mean feat! The stress has me piling on the kilos fast  – so there’s that! Needless to say, I feel somewhat lost in the chaos…kinda in a state of limbo…

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Prayer, hard work, conflict, prayer, sacrifices, exhaustion, some more prayer, doubts, fears, more sacrifices, prayer and copious amounts of tears (AND there’s more to come) is just some of what this year has been for us – Jesus take the wheel! We’ve been tried, tested and stretched in every way imaginable and yet – we’ve learned to rely on God for absolutely EVERYTHING and anything, we’ve learned to trust Him in ways we never could before and therein lies my silver lining…GROWTH!!!

Hard as it’s been – I stand in awe of God’s faithfulness. Man, oh man! God. Is. Good. All. The. Time. And. All. The. Time. God. Is. Good!!! Jehovah Jireh has provided everything from significant people to a home and everything in between (job, cars, furniture, you name it)  – God has provided! And all in like 2 monthsTHAT’S MY GOD!!!!

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I know there will be hard days and probably some VERY, VERY hard days – days where I’ll miss loved ones so much it will physically hurt – but I also know that it will make me run deeper into the arms of God.

 

 

 

My husband asked me if I’ll continue blogging and the simple answer is…absolutely YES…plus size fashion & writing are two things very dear to me, it’s taught me so much about myself and helped me out of a very dark place once upon a time. I probably will be taking some time to get settled into living down under and trying to make the transition as easy as possible for my kids but soon I’ll be back, bigger (not in surface area though), better, stronger & wiser!

So while I don’t know what the future holds – I can rest in the fact that I know the One who holds it!

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xoxo

Lauren

I forget but God…

Hey Beautiful People 

Here’s a funny story…not funny like ha ha but you know…

My confidence as a person and as a blogger has taken a serious beating since gaining weight. Last year I was able to drop a good amount of weight – not really intentionally though – I had a really trying year, my personal & spiritual life were a mess, I was stressed and depressed and honestly, I hardly ate. I’m a happy eater – so therefore we can conclude that I am happy a lot of the time…ha ha! 

Because of this I’ve been unmotivated to blog or even shop – I’m sure many of you can relate – but God has a way of always reminding me where He’s brought me from. 


This morning I picked up this stethoscope for a cousin (her kid needed 1 for a school project) but it instantly reminded me of the time I was expecting Aimee. 

A little scene-setting…

I’d had a weight loss op done a few years prior to falling pregnant and I wasn’t in very good health. I started off at 63kgs in the beginning of my pregnancy and by the 7th month I’d dropped to 40kgs. I was sick, in constant pain, I wasn’t eating and numerous times I contemplated suicide (the pain was that bad). I remember being in such tremendous pain and speaking such horrible words during my pregnancy – death, abortion, suicide – to name a few and yet at the same time I prayed that little Aimee would make it. 

I purchased 1 of these stethoscopes because I was so afraid that she’d die inside my womb. The pain would keep me awake at night and I’d lie there with my stethoscope trying to make sure I could hear her heart beat – I’m not sure if I did hear it – but that’s what I did! 

Aimee had to be delivered prematurely, she just wasn’t thriving inside my womb so at 7months she was born at a tiny 1.4kgs – literally just skin and bone. She stayed in Neo ICU for close to 3 weeks and it was the hardest 3 weeks of my life. I blamed myself for everything that happened to her – it was all those terrible things I spoke over her – I’d say – but I was in so much pain that I just wasn’t thinking clearly – I know that’s no excuse though! 


This was a month before Aimee was delivered ☝🏽


Today God reminded me of His awesome, miracle-working power. He reminded me where He brought me from ( a dying bed in Milpark ICU), He reminded me that my story, my message, is so much more than anything as superficial as my weight. I look at Aimee and I’m in awe of Him – that even in my weakness, my pain, my sickness, He had a plan for us. I am so much more than the number on the back of my jeans. 

I’ll be doing a blog post on my story soon!


Thank You for the reminder Lord. 

Stay Slayin & Stay Prayin y’all 

Lu xxx 

Proud Moments

[DISCLOSURE:- THIS IS NOT AN OUTFIT POST – WELL…NOT REALLY!]

This past Friday, my husband and I had the priviledge of attending my oldest daughter’s Drum Majorette Awards Ceremony. I previously mentioned here that they’d won the President League South-African Championship and this was the formal ceremony to celebrate their victory as well as announce the new leader, sub-leaders and duals for the 2016 squad.

For those unfamiliar with the sport you can learn more about it here and here.

Back to the celebrations…

It was a beautiful evening and fun was had by all. Our girls looked amazing all dolled up in pretty dresses and heels (which was right up my 11yr olds alley) but seeing the pride on the girls’ faces as they received their awards is what really gave me the feels. The long hours, the tears, the sore feet, it all paid off, they truly are our champions!

The height of my evening is when my daughter  was chosen as a sub-leader for 2016. I am the proudest parent alive! Anyone who knows us knows that this is a big deal for Amber. This sport has brought about so many positive changes in my Amber. Although she’s still quite shy (around others), her confidence has grown in leaps and bounds. She no longer suffers from anxiety and depression, she shows more self-discipline and she has such a passion for the sport that it often brings tears to my eyes.

So, I would like to extend a heartfelt thanks to her trainers for believing in her when she couldn’t believe in herself (even though I always did), for always pushing her to do more and be more, for seeing her through my eyes. Thank you, you’ve helped to mould this young lady I call my daughter!

Congratulations to the Grace Trinity Drum Majorettes and trainers for an outstanding achievment!

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A few of the Drummie Moms and I
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The head trainer having a dance with his squad
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The “Fun” awards
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Maces for the New Sub-leaders
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The Trophies
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Table Decor
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The husband, Amber and I
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Squad 2015
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My daughter, Amber
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Waiting for the announcement of the new leaders!
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Drummie Dads
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receiving her trophy
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With her new mace – sub-leader 2016
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Decor
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Table Seating
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Squad 2015
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Squad 2015
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Squad 2015
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Squad 2015
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Receiving my “fun” award LOL
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And…my OOTN

My Outfit breakdown:

Top, Skirt, Shoes & bag – MrP

Earrings – Truworths

Gold plate belt – Miss Boss Couture

Fun Fashion Fact:

“The word ‘jeans’ comes from the cotton pants worn by “Genes,” the local term for Genoan sailors.”

Thanks for stopping by and stay cute xxx

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