I can’t tell you how many times I sat down to write a blog post. 2018 has been one manic ride! Every time I sit down to write I become so overwhelmed with the reality of it all that I simply abort mission…”it’s not the right time.” I keep telling myself.
[INSERT Chris Brown “There’s never a right time to say goodbye”] LOL
In less than 2 months I will board a plane with my 3 kiddios (yes…THREE…say a little prayer for me) to Auckland, New Zealand to join my husband in our new home.
Darling husband (bless his fineness) has been there since August setting up (our new life basically) and the 4 of us are set to join him as soon as the kids finish the school year – which I cannot wait for because 1) I miss his fineness and 2) I’m tired (parenting is currently 80% driving & comforting crying kids!)
Uprooting our lives, leaving our place of birth, our family (this is the worst), friends, our church, a business, a home we’ve lived in for 12 years, our dogs, a comfort zone, everything that has made me me up until this very moment is no mean feat! The stress has me piling on the kilos fast – so there’s that! Needless to say, I feel somewhat lost in the chaos…kinda in a state of limbo…
Prayer, hard work, conflict, prayer, sacrifices, exhaustion, some more prayer, doubts, fears, more sacrifices, prayer and copious amounts of tears (AND there’s more to come) is just some of what this year has been for us – Jesus take the wheel! We’ve been tried, tested and stretched in every way imaginable and yet – we’ve learned to rely on God for absolutely EVERYTHING and anything, we’ve learned to trust Him in ways we never could before and therein lies my silver lining…GROWTH!!!
Hard as it’s been – I stand in awe of God’s faithfulness. Man, oh man! God. Is. Good. All. The. Time. And. All. The. Time. God. Is. Good!!! Jehovah Jireh has provided everything from significant people to a home and everything in between (job, cars, furniture, you name it) – God has provided! And all in like 2 months – THAT’S MY GOD!!!!
I know there will be hard days and probably some VERY, VERY hard days – days where I’ll miss loved ones so much it will physically hurt – but I also know that it will make me run deeper into the arms of God.
My husband asked me if I’ll continue blogging and the simple answer is…absolutely YES…plus size fashion & writing are two things very dear to me, it’s taught me so much about myself and helped me out of a very dark place once upon a time. I probably will be taking some time to get settled into living down under and trying to make the transition as easy as possible for my kids but soon I’ll be back, bigger (not in surface area though), better, stronger & wiser!
So while I don’t know what the future holds – I can rest in the fact that I know the One who holds it!